the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
