One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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