Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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