Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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