Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
