At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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