You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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