Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
