He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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