handjob tips. give me some.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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