Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
