The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
