Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
