Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
