This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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