Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize