I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
