i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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