i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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