I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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