So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
