i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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