Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
