Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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