so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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