considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
