I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
...so i touched it.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Boobs are out for the taking
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
