I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
