I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize