For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My feet surprised me
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