Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?

Fav 36 759 3268
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(850): View more from Florida

I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

Fav 58 960 5034
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(310): View more from California

Slut skills are useful in every country.

Fav 14 4879 998
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(734): View more from Michigan

swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.

Fav 23 8084 1211
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(310): View more from California

He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

Fav 12 4716 1107
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.

Fav 16 1437 4994
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(740): View more from Ohio

You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong

Fav 11 3446 1203
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(937): View more from Ohio

I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.

(704): View more from North Carolina

Smaug the FABULOUS

Fav 1 75 7
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.

(571): View more from Virginia

Get fucked.

Fav 1 63 4
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