Don't you send me to vm
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
