Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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