so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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