A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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