You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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