Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
