Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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