I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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