So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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