is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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