is your mom at the bar?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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