I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
