Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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