u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
