Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
