I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
