This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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