Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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