I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
