the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
