whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
