Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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