i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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