come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
did i walk over a car last night?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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