Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
