...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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