I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
