THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
