apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
