"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
