You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
