I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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