What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
