i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I want a musical about memes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
