think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
