i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
