I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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